Famous is FUN

Wow, what a whirlwind. One day I'm just your average forensic investigator, the next, I'm a world-famous superstar. What a week it has been. Who'd have thought that this could happen to me?
It all started just over a year ago when my friends at work said I should try out for one of these TV talent shows. I was always singing at work and they said that I should share my special voice with the world. I always knew that I was a good singer but to have it confirmed by people close to me filled me with joy so I went to the auditions in Manchester.
I sang "Don'tcha" by the pussy cat dolls. My dancing and singing mesmorised the judges. Simon Cowell just sat there and started open-mouthed. I knew that he liked it, even if that irish punk Louis Walsh was laughing throughout my performance.
Sadly they all said 'No', I was devastated. It felt like my whole world was going to come crashing down on me. This was the moment I had prepared for my whole life, the only thing I ever wanted to do. I asked them what I could do, to which Simon said "Give up on singing." Well, I determined that I was going to make him eat his words.
Over the following year I practiced and practiced over and over. I started singing lessons and bought a whole new wardrobe. I cut my hair, changed my name, and had corrective plastic surgery to make myself look more attractive, and had my vocal box fixed so that the judges wouldn't recognise me.
Then I went back for this year's auditions...
And I haven't looked back since.

The four judges stood and applauded my audition, Louis threw roses at my feet, and Simon Cowell cried!!! Both Danni and Cheryl were both disappointed to hear that I was married. Oh yes! I was that good.
I sailed through the competition receiving praise from everyone. This was what I was born to do. The guest performers were all so impressed by me that they asked for MY autograph. And why wouldn't they?
Anyway, last week was the release of my CD and my picture has been everywhere. At the LA launch Paris Hilton was overjoyed to get hold of the last copy in the store. Madonna has even been in touch asking if she can sing a duet with me. She's obviously a fan.
Anyway, if you're having difficulty finding my CD, that's because it has been sold out everywhere. Even iTunes have had to pull the album from their servers because the high demand made the whole store to crash, so don't expect it to be on there either. I'm sorry to say that you'll won't find it for a very long time.