21 April 2007
In my journal at home I have a paper in which I wrote down my feelings and emotions from when Kaylee was born and before I forget hoe I feel I want to do the same with Spencer. On Thursday the 19th of April 2007 at 5:53 pm we were blessed with the chance to raise a son, Spencer Thomas Whitfield. He was born 14 weeks early and weighed 2 pounds. I dont want to say to much about the delivery except that it went quick I arrived at the hospital not dialated at all and an hour and 45 minutes later our beautiful baby boy arrived. I am not affraid to admit that when he was born I was so scared. I was crying begging the Dr's and pleading with my Heavenly Father to please bless and save my sweet baby. I cant express the feelings I have for Spencer from the moment he was born. You think you love them before they are born but once they arrive that love increases a million fold and straight away you know that you woudl give and do anything for that little helpless child. I havent yet been able to hold Spencer. I am not sure when I will be given that chance. I sit next to his incubator and watch him fight for his life all the while I am praying and again pleading with my father in heaven to just give him a chance to live, to grow, to become the wonderful son, brother, man, missionary, father, husband that I know he can and will be. I can not begin to express my love and gratitude to my father in heaven for what he has given me and I just know that he has more blessing in store.
I know the road ahead is going to be difficult. And I think I am prepared to accept whatever outcome happens because I know that families are forever. I know the Lord will continue to bless our little family. I am so grateful that he has trusted Lee and I with Spencer. When I look at him I feel so much love. He is so special and I know that he has been sent to Lee and I at this time for a special purpose, he must have a very special mission. I am looking forward to the time we get to spend with him to watch him grow. To teach him the ways and will of the Lrod and to eventually send him on a mission. To see him find his eternal companion and get married and enjoy the blessings of the temple himself.
Spencer I hope that someday when you are old enough to read this letter that you will know just how much I love you. I have prayed for you from the very moment you entered this world and I will continue to do so for the rest of your life. You are so helpless right now but I know that with the Lord on our side you will continue every day to get stonger and stronger. When I am finally allowed to hold you they are going to have to pry you away from me because I will never want to let you go. I love you more than any words can ever express. Stay strong my handsome little boy. I know you have a great mission this is just the first challenge on that mission and I promise your daddy and I will do whatever we can to help you in this life. I love you my little man.
Love Forever,
Mommy
