New Arrival

On August 13th 2010 Alisha and I celebrated the arrival of our newest family member. Siena Joyce Whitfield was born to us at 14:24 weighing 4lbs 15oz. She is gorgeous.
The reason is has taken us so long to post anything on here is because she is still in the hospital but hopefully she'll be home in the next couple of days. She has done so well and we can't wait until she's at home with her family.
Kaylee and Spencer have been really good too. We have to drive 40 minutes to the hospital and 40 minutes back. We are often there for 3 hours or more and they have both been utter troopers. We're so proud of them. Kaylee even refuses to go home until she's had her cuddle with her little sister. She holds her so gently and sings a little lullaby that Alisha and I find it difficult not to become emotional.
Spencer gets to hold his little sister too but, as a typical three-year-old he loses interest quickly but he already has that protective instinct of a bog brother. Whenever she cries he stops whatever he's doing to make sure she's OK.
Will we have any more children? We're not sure at this point as the last two pregnancies have been very difficult on Alisha. Its something that we'll think about in a couple of years.
As a side note my employer has been amazing. They have given me time off, let me work from home, they've just been fantastic about it all. Thanks Disklabs.

Children and Pregnancy

When Alisha and I were married we dreamed about having our own little family one day. Alisha is the oldest of seven children and I'm the oldest of four, we liked the idea of having maybe four or five children ourselves. We realise that doing so would probably put us in a position where we'd sometimes struggle to find the money to support our family but we were certain that a big family was right for us.
Kaylee was born to us in December 2003. She was born six weeks early and was in the hospital for ten days. Alisha endured around eighty hours of labour before requiring an emergency caesarian.
A couple of years later we were delighted to hear that we were going to have another child. But there were problems. Alisha's waters broke at 22 weeks and she was kept in hospital to avoid her getting an infection. She was kept in hospital for two weeks before the doctors decided it was pointless for her to be there. She came home and a couple of weeks later I had a call asking me to come home from work as her contractions were very close. Spencer was born later that day at a gestation of 26 weeks. It took the doctors 20 minutes to get him to breathe on his own before they took him away. One of them even fainted at the sight of him. His body was the size of an adult's hand.
Spencer progressed steadily until we had a phone call one morning asking us to come to the hospital. Spencer's lungs had collapsed and they were certain that he was going to die. They called us in to say our goodbyes. Thankfully Spencer was defiant and proved the doctors wrong.
He's given us scares from time to time, had a couple of surgeries, been in hospital for other reasons, and so on. To look at him now you'd never believe that he was 3-4 months premature. We know that it is a miracle that he is with us today.
This brings us to our current predicament.
Alisha is 19 weeks pregnant. On Thursday she noticed something was wrong. After a scan it was found that she has a small tear in the amniotic sack and that liquid was leaking. This was bad news.
The doctors have told Alisha that they expect her to deliver in the next couple of weeks and that the baby will die shortly thereafter. I refuse to believe it. Having experience everything that we did with Spencer I know that miracles can happen. I'm not prepared to accept this eventuality until it happens. We're doing everything possible to ensure that Alisha makes it to 24 weeks. That way, at least, the doctors will be required to do everything they can to assist the child.
I can't imagine what will happen if Alisha gives birth to this perfectly healthy child and then have to watch it die. Right now my head just isn't in the game. Please remember Alisha and our baby in your prayers. I'm sure that, with everyone's help, there is a miracle waiting to happen.
I want the doctors to be dumbfounded. I want them to shake their heads in disbelief and to go and tell their colleagues that they can't understand how this was all possible. Sadly though my wants and desires are secondary to those of God. I place my wife and child in his hands and just hope he answers the prayers offered on our behalf.

My Wife – The Hero

My wife, Alisha, is the single most important person in our family.

I have a good job in which I work regular hours. I go to work, I work for eight and a half hours, then I come home. My wife drives me to the train station and back again every day, regardless of her other plans. She also is kind enough to make lunch for me.

After taking me to the train station she goes home and gets our children ready for the day, she feeds our one year old boy, gets breakfast for our four year old daughter, dresses them both, brushes their hair, gets herself ready, then takes our daughter to school. She comes home and does housework, when she should be resting, then goes back out to pick our daughter up from school. She comes home, makes lunch for both children, feeds our son. She then entertains both children until its time for our little boy to have a nap. She puts him down and then plays with our daughter until our son wakes up. She entertains them both for a while before having to come out to pick me up from the train station. When we get home I provide token assistance where I can while Alisha makes our dinner. I try to feed our son but get frustrated at him until Alisha decides that its better if she does it. We eat dinner, the kids are bathed (usually by Alisha) and then she dresses them for bed. The kids then watch TV for a few minutes before going to bed. I take one of the children up to bed and Alisha takes the other. Once they are down for the night (this can take up to an hour) Alisha has a chance to relax and do what she wants to do. This happens only if she is not too tired to do something or on evenings when she does not have church commitments. She never misses a church activity where she has some responsibility – unlike others that seem to think that their callings are optional Alisha attends everything that she physically can. When she goes she picks up people along the way an drops them off again afterwards. Alisha goes to bed, tired and worn out. Then she has to sleep next to a husband that snores very loudly, keeping her awake. The baby monitor sits next to her side of the bed, if any of the children get up in the night she gets up and deals with them because I'm usually snoring through it and she's too kind to wake me up to ask me to deal with whatever the kids want or need.

So, this is a typical day for Alisha. Bare in mind that she does all this on her own. I give support and help where I can but I'm away for a large chunk of the day. Her family are in America while we live in England. She has no family support and often feels very lonely, but she persists. To me, she is amazing – especially at the weekends when she has the most annoying and demanding child of all to deal with: me!

I don't write this for any other reason that to say that I love her and appreciate her more than she can know. I tell her this all the time but I still feel its not enough. She is the glue that holds our family together. She has so much patience, but this is not her only virtue. She is the greatest example of a mother that I have ever seen and will do anything for our little family. She is the most amazing person and I consider myself the luckiest man in the world.

My Little Boy

Last Thursday little Spencer was born to Alisha and I.

He was born at 17:53 (5:53pm) and weighed 2 pounds and 12 ounces. He's so tiny its difficult to tell from the pictures on his page. But he's so delicate and cute.

I had my first opportunity to talk to him on my own on Saturday morning. I was able to tell him about his new family and about all the people that were wishing him well. We also talked a little about football and I promised him that I would bring him news of the score a little later.

I feel extremely happy that he's here and everything but I still feel very worried about him, and who wouldn't? The really annoying part of it is that there is very little I can do to sway things. His fate is left entirely in the hands of God and the doctors and nurses. What a humbling experience - I have no control over the safety and well-being of my son and I must rely completely on others to help him.

I can't wait for him to come home. I will shed tears of joy when I carry him into our house and show him around.

He's definately a little angel come to bless our lives.

Determination

This afternoon Lee and I took Kaylee to the Wacky Warehouse for lunch and to have a play (She had spent almost 4 hours in hospital with us and had a lot of energy stored up) We went out and straight away Kaylee ran to a small climbing wall, it was a sloped wall with a chain for her to climb up. When she first tried she got half way up and them couldn't pull herself the rest of the way up so she just slid down. The second time she let Lee help her, but only once. After that she was determined to do it herself and she finally she did. The thing I found so funny was watching the other children. Most the older children would climb up the wall no problems. But there was one girl who had to be 10 or 11 and was asking her mother for help. At one point whilst Kaylee was climbing the wall the girl cut her off and you should have seen our 3 year old shouting and telling off this 10 year old. Surely she must get this from her father. I cant imagine Kaylee getting her outspokeness (if a word) me :)

With Kaylee having so much determination to do what she wants when she wants it I can only imagine what she is going to be like at 15 years old. I think already that we had better lock her in her bedroom. She can get used to it now then when she is older she wont want to leave the house. Ahhhh my wicked plan just might work.