19 December, 2003 8:02am
I am sitting in my hospital room trying to pass the next hour until i can go and see my sweet angel Kaylee down in the NNU. I wanted to write my feelings of this past week down. I wont write the events as this is the only paper I have at the moment but I will write the whole story on my journal once I finally go home. There are no words to ever explain how I have felt since Kaylee has been born. Never did I imagine I could love anyone so much. Before she was born I knew I loved her and how lucky I was to be carrying her, but now that she is here I cant imagine my life without her. She has taken hold of both Lee and mines lives. Never have I ever wanted so much for one person. I look at her and I think there is nothing I would not do for her including give my own life to make her happuy. I am scared of being a mom. I want to be perfect. I want her to have a more fulfilling life than anyone who has ever lived. I want so much for her. I have huge dreams for her. I feel like my life is so complete. I have everything I have ever wanted by having her and Lee as mine for eternity. Never have I ever had more of a desire to do all I can to return to my Father in Heaven. Lee is so taken by her. I think between the two of us one of us is crying all the time, happy tears just thinking about how blessed we are to have each other and Kaylee in our lives. I can not thank my Father in Heaven enough. At 25 years old I feel like I have now just begun to realise the love our Father in heaven has for us, and the love that my parents have for me. I am so thankful for the sealing powers. I am grateful that we have been sealed and that we can have the chance to be an eternal family. I want to do everything I can to teach ehr the ways of the Lord so that we can all return to live with him together someday. I hope in someway I can show Kaylee how important and how much she means to me and her daddy. I love Lee so much more than any words can or will ever explain. I am so grateful for this chance to together raise such a beautiful child. I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven for trusting me with this sweet child. I just hope that in some way I can make him proud for sending her to us.
Kaylee I love you. I promise to do everything I can in my powers to make you happy forever. I love you so much. Thank you for making me such a happy mommy. I cant wait until we can go home and can start our lives together as a little family.
I love you forever,
Mommy
