5 weeks later.

So it has been five weeks since Siena was born and I am officially ready to be healed but my body has other plans. I still have two holes in my tummy, which are closing but very slowly. Today I went to the dr and he wants to see me again on Tuesday and if there isnt a big change he will burn the two holes. Who knows what burning them will do. But as they say he is the Dr right? I also have a few other problems which are likely based on low iron, which doesnt help with my being tired all the time. I have really bad headaches, stars in my vision all the time not just if I get up to fast, and massive heart palpatations it seriously feels like my heart is going to just burst out of my chest plus my whole body is pulsing because of it. On top of that because of the open wound being the worst on one side I am having pains on the other side which the Midwife said is because I am making the left side muscles do all the work. I dont believe her because you tell me which of you has control over which stomach muscles you use. :) Do you know what I want most of all.... a bath. I know I take showers all the time but when my waters broke I wasnt allowed to have baths anymore and I was so looking forward to just having a nice long soak. But now with the hole in my tummy I cant have a bath either. I seriously just want to soak away all my aches and pains. I know it will happen eventually.

Through all of this over the past 18 weeks I have received the most wonderful blessing. I have a beautiful baby girl to show for it. And though it sounds like I am complaining Im not really. This is mostly for a record. I would do all this again just to have the blessing of having a beautiful child to hold and to love. And when I get a little bit down or a little to tired I look at Siena, cuddle her and kiss her and thank Heavenly Father for giving me each and every trial I have had because it has given me a beautiful little girl in the end. And so for that I am so grateful. Siena is just one of the many blessings I have received along this journey. And maybe in a way I am a little sad for it to end. But I know that I can still have this closeness with my Heavenly Father if I contnue to do the things which I am doing. I am so grateful to him for all my trials because they make me stronger.