How did you know?

So the past few weeks I have been doing a lot of thinking. See Lee and I have said this will be our last child, well sort of. I will explain later. I have always thought how do women know when they are finished having children? What happens in them that makes them think yep thats it, I am finished and I dont want to have anymore children. See oddly enough when Spencer was born I walked out of the hospital a day and a half after having him thinking right when can we have our next one? At the moment knowing that I wont have anymore is really weighing on my mind. We have chosen to not have anymore of our own because of the problems which I have in pregnancy. I never have an easy time being pregnant not only me but Lee and the Kids have a hard time too. But as I sit here typing this feeling my baby move within me I cant help but feel sad that this is the last time I will get to feel these movements. That in 3 weeks I will have this baby and I will never again get to experience all that comes with being pregnant. Im not sure if I want to still have more because of the fact that I come from a big family and imagining all our family get togethers and holidays with only 3 children is sad. Or the fact that if each of my children only have 1 -3 children then the most grandchildren we will ever have is 9. My mom already have 13 and 3 of my brothers arent even married yet. I have loads of cousins and I cant imagine only having 8 or 9. That would be sad to me.

This morning I was thinking about getting all our little girl clothes out to be washed for this baby and at the same time I was thinking really I should wash all the little boy things too so that I can sell them on ebay (sad but you can make some good money from selling them especially as ours are all in such great condition). But it made me really sad. Im not sure I am ready to get rid of them yet. And I know when Cienna grows out of these little girl clothes I will really not want to sell or give away any of them. Or any of the other things we have for her.

So I guess my question is how did you know. How did you know that you were done? How did you feel about knowing that. Lee and I have always said we would like to adpot when we are finished having our own children. And maybe that is why I am still feeling like I dont want to be finished with this stage of my life. Maybe there is another angel waiting to come to our family but through someone else. If we have the means to adopt and to give a better life to a child who would otherwise not have opportunities which we can give it then why not adopt. I know it is hard to adopt in the UK (my brother and sister in law have been trying for about 3 years) But it is different in the states which is where we would adopt from.

I am so grateful for the children that I have. In a way I feel like maybe I am being selfish to even write this post but it is how I am feeling and it is my blog. I really want to hear what you think how you felt about having your "last baby" or how you think you will feel when you get to that point in your life where you are "finished".