Hmmmm.

Kaylee has been asking a few questions about having a baby lately. And we have always said we will be completly honest with our children when they ask questions about things. She isnt asking things like where do a baby come from or how did a baby get in mommys tummy. Instead the questions she has been asking me and Lee is do mommy's every die when they have babies. We have been honest with her and told her that sometimes it does happen. We have explained that most the time it doesnt and there are no problems. But I know it is bothering her because she keeps asking me questions. This morning she said Mommy your not going to die when Cienna is born are you because you didnt die when Spencer and I were born. I said to her Kaylee I am pretty sure I wont die. There are loads of Drs and Nurses around to help if something goes wrong. Of course I have said she has nothing to worry about and that everything will be ok. But I cant help but worry with her asking so many questions. I know nothing will happen and like I tell her there are so many people there to help if something does. Maybe I am just being a worry wart. But lets face it how many of us as we closer to delivering dont start to worry about what we are about to go through. I know they say that you forget just how bad delivery is but I still remember a lot of it. And the closer I get to having Cienna the more scared I am getting. I actually find myself thinking from time to time what the heck did I do? I cant wait to meet my princess. I am so looking forward to it especially with all that has been going on. I want her to know how much I love her and how excited I am for her to be part of our family. But it doesnt mean that I am not scared of the delivery. Nor does it mean that I am unaware that from time to time women do pass away in child birth.

I was just thinking about this this evening whilst Lee is at work late again and thought I would write my thoughts down. Someday I will look back on this and laugh at how silly I am being.