Baby Post

I want to start off by saying thank you to everyone for their thoughts, prayers and kind words over the past three days. I am trying to stay very positive because I know that positivity breed positivity. But I am also trying to prepare for what might happen, which I am finding at this point in time to be a very difficult thing. Here is what has been going on. Many of you will know my waters broke mid day on Wednesday. I wasnt too worried about it in fact I knew that I had a clinic appt with my specialist on Monday and I was going to wait until then to tell him what happen. But after talking to my very wise sister and Lee I decided to just go and get checked out in the hospital. We went in around 7 pm on Thursday night. They did the normal checks to see if your waters have broken, it isnt always obvious especially in my case, and it came back positive. There are two kinds of breaks a front break where all your water goes and you have to delivery straight away and a hind break where you keep some of your water around the baby and your waters replenish themselves and in some cases. We believe that I have a hind tear because there is still water around the baby. For me that is very positive.

The Dr's are trying to prepare Lee and I for the worst. They have said that it is VERY RARE that a woman who's waters break at 19 weeks goes on to deliver at or after 24 weeks. Here in the UK same as in the states the Dr's do not have to recesitate a baby which is born at less that 24 weeks. And even 24 weeks is questionable. At 24 weeks a lot of times they check to see if the baby can survive on its own for 5 - 10 minutes before giving it care. For this reason the Dr's have already stated that should the baby be born at less that 24 weeks they will deliver the baby and give it to Lee and I to say our goodbyes until the child passes away. At this point I am so grateful for the gospel. For the strength that it give me to know that families are forever and that if this happens I will be able to see my child again and raise him / her in the millenium. And for the knowledge that should this happen our baby will be taken straight to the celestial kingdom where its wonderful spirit wil get to live with out Father in Heaven, Heavenly Mother and our Savior. I take such comfort in that.

If I do get to 24 weeks then we will get to go through what we went through with Spencer. And though that was so difficult and I was scared it was amazing the spirit that we felt with him. I felt so many times Heavenly Fathers Loving arms around me giving me the strength to get through from one day to the next. I still feel that now. At these times of trouble I find my testimony strengthened and my love for my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ grows immensly. In a very differnt way that the growth that I receive from Reading my scriptures, doing service for others. I guess it is hard to explain.

Right so back to what happens now. I get to have my bloods taken every 48 hours. I am on an antibiotic to prevent infection and I am taking my temperature ever 4 hours to make sure it isnt raised in any way. I am not allowed to stretch (reach up to grab something high for example) as this could cause the tear to increase in size. I am not allowed to pick up the children. I am supposed to stay sitting or lying down as much as possible (complete bed rest). I will also be seeing the specialist every couple of days. At the moment every other day and I will be having ultrasound more frequent that the every other week which was planned. They need to make sure there is enough water around the baby.

I have decided that once this baby is born I will be having my tubes tied and we wont be having anymore children of our own. I have given it a good try with having a big LDS family. This is my 3rd child and 4th pregnancy. I am afraid that if I fell pregnant again it would cause too much danger for me and for the baby. On top of that I realise how much stress this bring to our family. We havent told the children exactly what is going on but they know something is wrong. Both are very concerned and I know that from their prayers. The things they prayed for last night made me realise that this is just as scary for each of them. Lee and I have always said given the chance we would love to adopt. This is obviously far off I am in no way thinking about adopting anytime soon. Plus it would be impossible to do it from the UK so we would wait until we are back in the states.

Thank you to everyone for your kind words, your thoughts and your prayers. I can feel strength from each of you. I hope that this experience not only strengthens my testimony and the relationship I have with my Heavenly Father but I hope that in someway each of you can have that blessing to. I pray that everything will be ok and that whatever the outcome of the situation I will be able to deal with it and use it to my advantage to help teach others. And I know with my Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and Friends and Family like you all this will happen. I will keep you all updated through facebook and on here. I love each of you and thank you for being the most wonderful friends and family on this earth.