Mormon Tourettes

I originally posted this on our own little family blog. However it is quite locked down so no one can read it. So I've decided to post it here instead. Enjoy!

Brothers and Sisters. I wish to share something of the utmost importance. There is a disease spreading through the members of the church at an alarming rate. This disease seems to know no boundaries. It spread across rural areas, cities, countries, and even oceans. There is no known cure for this disease but it doesn't appear to affect everyone.
The disease seems to specifically attack primary children and youth, although it has been known to attack adult members too.

The disease of which I speak is the dreaded 'Mormon Tourettes'.

Primary and youth teachers are asked to be especially vigilant in identifying any instances of this disease. Leaders have been counselled to seek out the victims of this disease and then report back to church offices in Salt Lake City. Once it has been detected the MDC (Mormon Disease Control) will be sent to your local unit to help quarantine the infected individuals.

The disease can be detected by asking simple gospel questions. If they give a reasoned, well-thought-out answer then they are fine. If, however, they automatically shout out random answers then they may be infected. Key answers to look for in infected individuals include (but are not limited to):

Prayer

Read scriptures

Pay tithing

Go to church

Go to the Temple

Keep the commandments

Parents, specifically, are asked to pay close attention to their children during Family Home Evenings as the disease appears to spread most quickly and be most noticeable during Monday evenings.

Children and Pregnancy

When Alisha and I were married we dreamed about having our own little family one day. Alisha is the oldest of seven children and I'm the oldest of four, we liked the idea of having maybe four or five children ourselves. We realise that doing so would probably put us in a position where we'd sometimes struggle to find the money to support our family but we were certain that a big family was right for us.
Kaylee was born to us in December 2003. She was born six weeks early and was in the hospital for ten days. Alisha endured around eighty hours of labour before requiring an emergency caesarian.
A couple of years later we were delighted to hear that we were going to have another child. But there were problems. Alisha's waters broke at 22 weeks and she was kept in hospital to avoid her getting an infection. She was kept in hospital for two weeks before the doctors decided it was pointless for her to be there. She came home and a couple of weeks later I had a call asking me to come home from work as her contractions were very close. Spencer was born later that day at a gestation of 26 weeks. It took the doctors 20 minutes to get him to breathe on his own before they took him away. One of them even fainted at the sight of him. His body was the size of an adult's hand.
Spencer progressed steadily until we had a phone call one morning asking us to come to the hospital. Spencer's lungs had collapsed and they were certain that he was going to die. They called us in to say our goodbyes. Thankfully Spencer was defiant and proved the doctors wrong.
He's given us scares from time to time, had a couple of surgeries, been in hospital for other reasons, and so on. To look at him now you'd never believe that he was 3-4 months premature. We know that it is a miracle that he is with us today.
This brings us to our current predicament.
Alisha is 19 weeks pregnant. On Thursday she noticed something was wrong. After a scan it was found that she has a small tear in the amniotic sack and that liquid was leaking. This was bad news.
The doctors have told Alisha that they expect her to deliver in the next couple of weeks and that the baby will die shortly thereafter. I refuse to believe it. Having experience everything that we did with Spencer I know that miracles can happen. I'm not prepared to accept this eventuality until it happens. We're doing everything possible to ensure that Alisha makes it to 24 weeks. That way, at least, the doctors will be required to do everything they can to assist the child.
I can't imagine what will happen if Alisha gives birth to this perfectly healthy child and then have to watch it die. Right now my head just isn't in the game. Please remember Alisha and our baby in your prayers. I'm sure that, with everyone's help, there is a miracle waiting to happen.
I want the doctors to be dumbfounded. I want them to shake their heads in disbelief and to go and tell their colleagues that they can't understand how this was all possible. Sadly though my wants and desires are secondary to those of God. I place my wife and child in his hands and just hope he answers the prayers offered on our behalf.

Marriage: A Civil or Religious Institution?

The following statement is my opinion. This is not to be confused in any way with the Church's position on any of the matters that I discuss. I realise that this is a controversial topic but I make no apologies for what I write as I believe it to be true.
People may mock me and my beliefs so let me tell you a little about the 'mormons' to start with. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I believe in it. I live it. I won't bore you with my life in the church as it's not relevant. I challenge anyone to find a more generous, giving people on the earth than the members of our church. These are people that give freely of their time and money in the service of others. Most people that know members of our church respect them. They are recognised as industrious, hard working, and honest people. There are, of course, exceptions to this but that is the fault of individuals, not the church.
In the last week or so there has been a great deal of "news" about our church due to the result of Proposition 8. I have read many articles, blogs, and comments on the matter - most of which have been inaccurate and biased in their "reporting". The things that I don't understand is why are we being targeted for protecting something that we hold sacred? We are called biggots (among more colourful names) for standing up for something we believe in. Yes we voted against gay marriage and, as a result, there are literally thousands (possibly millions) of people claiming that the separation of religion and state is too narrow. This will surprise a lot of people but I couldn't agree more.
Is marriage a state issue or a religious issue? If you answered 'state' you are right - and, through no fault of your own, very, VERY wrong.
How did marriage start? Marriage was not set up by the state, it was not conceived by some government. It began as a religious institution.
Marriage WAS a religious institution but now that government gives married couples certain advantages, such as tax breaks and insurance benefits, the line between church and state no longer exists on this matter. Marriage has been stolen from our religious institutions and given to everyone regardless of their religious leanings. Why? Marriage should not be a legal binding, it should be a religious binding available to only those of a religious pursuasion. The irony of all this is that marriage itself has become a bastard child, not knowing the identity of its true parent.
If you want separation of church and state give marriage back to religion and cancel all the legality of marriage. It is not our fault that governments get involved in religious issues (and they do it frequently). It is not our fault that something that we hold sacred has been taken from religion and given to the masses without any consideration.
If marriage was given back to religious organisations then there would be no added benefit to being married. If a church refused to perform a gay ceremony there would be no more public outcry as the religions would dictate the worthiness and acceptability of those getting married and, in most cases, that would exclude gay couples as homosexuality is against most religions in the world.
Some people have even said that not allowing gays the right to marry is against their human rights. In mariage's current bastardised form, yes that's true. However marriage was never intended for gay couples, it was intended as a religious convenant between man and woman before God. It has been said that marriage is a 'right' much like a right to vote. I can not see how that can be true if marriage is taken in its original context. Not even members of churches have the 'right' to be married if they are in opposition to the church's teachings.
How much more proof do you need of the 'nationalisation' of marriage. People can now get married dressed in fancy dress, they can get married by someone that was 'ordained' over the internet, they can go to vegas and have a drive-through wedding performed by Elvis because he has authority to marry given to him from the Nevada Gaming Commision. What kind of authority is that to marry people? IT'S A COMPLETE JOKE.
If you want separation of church and state then do it, but don't pick and choose which bits of religion you want to keep, and don't blame these good, hard-working, people for voting on something that was theirs until it was stolen by the state.
One of my best friends is gay. I do not persecute him, I do not tell him that he's wrong. He knows my views on the matter and we look for common ground instead. Is he going to run through the Temple doors shouting obscentities if I voted against gay marriage? No, because he is a decent human being for whom I have a lot of respect. People that are heaping persecution upon members of the church and intentionally causing them distress for standing up for something they believe in.
I think that some people think that we are purposely doing this to antagonise homosexuals. I can guarantee you that this is not the case. The church has every right to stand up for something it holds sacred and we'll do it again and again because of this, our religion.